…How did it end up like this?

Hayasaka Tooru—Tooru—had somehow made it back home to his run-down apartment. In the kitchen, he set a small pot of water on the stove and, while doing so, cast sidelong glances at the women picking at tea and snacks he had bought at a convenience store, letting out a deep sigh.

There were three people gathered around the table he used as a dining table.

First was Tia, the swordswoman bound to the Holy Sword Lightbringer. That, at least, was fine. Lightbringer seemed to be connected to Tooru’s soul, so when it came to her—being something like a holy sword spirit—he could resign himself to it.

Apparently she could choose not to manifest and simply disappear from sight, but he had no intention of telling her to do that. Incidentally, the holy sword itself was propped up by the side of the living room entrance, but that was fine too.

Next was Mika, the cat beastkin girl from the neighboring unit, a child from a single-mother household.

Her age was… probably around the lower grades of elementary school, he thought, though he had no real certainty.

It was already late at night, but apparently her mother had gone to work. Because of that whole “Dungeon Stampede” incident, she had contacted Mika to say, “I won’t be able to come home today.” As a result, Mika had been sitting in front of Tooru’s apartment door. Tooru found himself thinking that maybe it was about time he just gave her a spare key.

From now on, he probably wouldn’t be coming home at fixed hours like he had when he was working as a cleaner.

That said, Tooru himself had no idea what the future held.

And then—

The silver-haired elf.

Irselia Lumiester.

A woman with a chilling, almost cinematic beauty, like she had stepped straight out of a movie. Judging by appearance alone, she could even be described as a young girl—but according to Tia, “It wouldn’t be surprising if she were over a hundred years old.”

The elf race had appeared on the Atlantis Continent, which had surfaced northeast of the Australian mainland after the World Fusion.

They had their own culture, their own writing, their own language—and a fairly high level of intelligence. If one were to add anything, it would be an excessively high level of pride.

An A-rank explorer clan Anthem had come to pick them up at the Noumi Dungeon, and they had been given a ride home in the clan’s wagon. On the way, however, the elf had insisted on stopping at a convenience store, bought all sorts of things, and then gotten out of the car together with Tooru.

“What are you staring at? I can well understand how unbelievable it must seem for someone like me to exist in such a decrepit house, but doubting reality is the pastime of fools.”

She said that the instant their eyes met.

Tooru had no particular fondness for being insulted by beautiful women, so he naturally felt irritated and clicked his tongue, but Irselia didn’t press the attack any further.

With a weary sigh, he added salt to the water that was coming to a boil. He took out a wok, tossed in crushed garlic, added olive oil, and put it over the heat. Once the oil warmed and the garlic’s aroma seeped into it, he added canned whole tomatoes he kept on hand.

He threw dried pasta into the small pot, and while heating the tomatoes in the wok to drive off their acidity, he went ahead and made a salad as well. That amounted to little more than chopping vegetables at random and pouring over a dressing made from mayonnaise mixed with various seasonings.

By the time the pasta was about a minute away from being done, he added some pasta water to the reduced tomato sauce in the wok and tossed in the still-firm noodles. To save himself the trouble, he roughly added some additive-free chicken stock powder for extra umami, adjusted the sauce’s thickness while tossing the pan, and when it felt like it had sort of emulsified, he plated the pasta he had prepared earlier, sprinkled it with grated cheese, and finished with a scattering of dried basil.

“Food’s ready.”

When he called out, the cat beastkin girl, Mika, promptly secured a plate for herself as if she had been waiting for it. Tia came over with a look that seemed to ask Is it okay for me too?, so he pointed at a plate. She obediently carried it over.

Irselia, on the other hand, remained seated, so he had no choice but to carry both her plate and his own to the table.

“This is spaghetti pomodoro, right? They say about twenty percent of single men living alone get really into cooking, but… well, would you look at that. It’s actually pretty good.”

She started eating the moment the plate was set down and made that comment without hesitation.

Mika, who always put her hands together and said “thank you for the food” before eating, looked surprised at Irselia’s table manners. But when she saw Tooru ignoring Irselia and putting his own hands together, she hurriedly brought her small hands together as well.

“thank you for the food.”

“thank you for the food. I like your pasta, Tooru.”

“It looks good. I’ll dig in too.”

Having already gone through it once, Tia seemed to have gotten used to the Japanese custom and put her hands together as well—though she might have thought it was a ritual performed only in front of children. When they had eaten at a hamburger restaurant, or when they had eaten convenience-store bread in the car, Tooru hadn’t put his hands together or said anything like that.

He had thought it would be better to behave properly in front of a child, but… well, at this point, there was no use suddenly acting proper in front of Tia.

“Hey, Tooru. Mom said you became famous or something. Are you famous now, Tooru?”

Mika said that while chewing her pasta, her cheeks puffed out. Apparently, her mother was the type who checked social media.

“Ah, yeah, I guess something went viral. But that elf woman over there is way more famous. She’s an S-rank explorer, and crazy beautiful, right? No idea why she’s eating dinner at my place, though.”

“What’s that supposed to mean—are you trying to flirt with me? If you think I’m some cheap woman who gets happy just because you state the obvious fact that I’m beautiful, you’re sorely mistaken. You should choose your words more carefully.”

“Shut up. I’m not flirting. You’re way too full of yourself. Also, you’ve got tomato sauce on the side of your mouth, idiot.”

“Wha—!?”

Because of her fair skin, it was easy to see her cheeks flush red. Irselia pulled a few tissues from Tooru’s place and started wiping her mouth. He snorted at the sight—but when he thought about it, it really didn’t matter.

“More importantly, why are you eating at my place in the first place?”

“Because you made the food, obviously.”

“If you honestly think that’s the answer I was looking for, then I can only raise both hands and surrender before the noble and unfathomable intellect of the elves.”

“…You certainly have an extensive vocabulary for insults, don’t you?”

She narrowed her eyes in exasperation, but—unexpectedly—Irselia didn’t show any anger. As if deciding that eating was more important than pointless questions, she moved her fork again and brought the pasta to her mouth.

When Tooru glanced sideways at Tia, she continued eating as if she were completely unconcerned with the exchange between him and Irselia. Mika, meanwhile, was stuffing her cheeks full of pasta while watching them. She seemed interested, but apparently had no idea what they were arguing about.

No—Tooru himself didn’t understand it either.

“Hey, Tooru. And Irselia, was it? I’m not saying you have to get along, but don’t fight in front of a child.”

Tia said it with an exasperated look.

Of course, Tooru understood that much himself. And judging from how Irselia briefly glanced at the cat beastkin girl and then made an awkward expression, she seemed to understand it too. The problem was that sometimes, even when you understood, there was nothing you could do about it.

The elf neatly twirled the pasta around her fork, put it into her mouth, chewed it properly, swallowed, and then spoke.

“…You people… or rather, you, Tooru—Hayasaka Tooru, was it? I came here to determine whether or not you were dangerous. Acting as Anthem’s escort was the main reason, of course, but I was also worried that those kids might be getting deceived by some strange man.”

“Well, I can’t say I don’t get the concern. But if that’s the case, you’re eating food made by someone you don’t know is dangerous or not.”

“A poison potent enough to kill me would only be obtainable by delving into an S-rank dungeon. How would a man who, until very recently, was working as a cleaner in the upper floors of a D-rank dungeon—and who is obviously poor—possibly acquire something like that?”

“…Hell if I know. I don’t care. So? What’s the verdict from an elf who possesses overflowing intellect, lofty nobility, and the authority to pass judgment on others? If I were dangerous, what would you do about it?”

As he said that, Tooru released his fork with his right hand and deliberately brought it closer to his left palm—an obvious signal that he could draw the Cursed Sword Kagetsu at any time.

Irselia, however, merely gave a small shrug at Tooru’s display, then returned her attention to moving her fork and mouth, shifting into the task of emptying her plate.

At the very least, she had no intention of doing anything here and now.

Which was for the best—though if she did intend to, he was prepared to deal with it.

“…Elf. Do you hate Tooru?”

Mika glared daggers at Irselia, her eyes damp with accusation. Faced with the child’s straightforward question and gaze, Irselia looked slightly taken aback.

“Um, well, you see—this elf said a whole bunch of mean things to Tooru and made him angry. Whether you like someone or hate them, being badmouthed makes you feel bad, right?”

Tia offered that explanation—whether it was meant as a lifeline or a follow-up attack was unclear. Naturally, Mika’s glare sharpened, and Irselia quickly averted her eyes.

It seemed she wasn’t so far gone as to act high-handed even toward a child.

“……”

“…Elf?”

“……”

“…Elf, shouldn’t you say sorry to Tooru?”

“……”

“…Elf, do you hate Tooru?”

“…S—”

“…Elf?”

“…S-s-s—ngh—nggggh…! S-so—haah! Haah! S-s-s—ughghgh…! S-so—nnn—uuugh…!”

“That’s seriously uncomfortable to watch. Don’t force it, you shitty elf.”

Irselia clenched her fists and trembled, utterly unable to spit out an apology. Watching her struggle so desperately, Tooru was honestly put off. Being apologized to like that was more trouble than it was worth.

Besides, it wasn’t like he planned to forgive her just because she apologized a little.

“So then, from your point of view, Irselia—what’s your assessment of Tooru?”

Tia’s question sounded like either a reset or an attempt to throw her a lifeline.

“Haa… haa… honestly, you people… You might be looking at me like a loose cannon, but I came to Japan from Alfheim and have been living a perfectly normal social life. I’m a reasonably sensible person, you know? Even if I did feel you were dangerous, I’d simply report it to the appropriate authorities.”

Tooru felt like he was about to lose his grasp on what “sensible” even meant, but there was no point in nitpicking every little thing, so he kept quiet.

“Dungeons are managed by the state, right?”

Tia asked, tilting her head. Her tone was light, as if she didn’t particularly care.

“Most countries do it that way. Dungeon products—magic cores, monster drops, all that stuff—are indispensable to society now. So when it comes to explorers, you could say the state holds the national infrastructure hostage and says, ‘If you don’t contribute to the country, you’re a criminal.’”

“Didn’t explorers push back against that?”

“Apparently they did at first. But getting taxed when you work is just normal, right? Hardly any top-tier explorers objected to paying taxes out of the profits they made. And for the explorers themselves, it’s easier knowing taxes are deducted in advance—and they get the get-out-of-jail-free card of ‘contributing to society.’”

“Huh… I’d imagine some powerful explorers would turn into outright lawless types, though… Ah, I guess the system corrected itself.”

Tooru shrugged at Tia as she came to that conclusion on her own.

“The world isn’t made up of just explorers and dungeons. Even S-rank explorers buy bottled drinks at convenience stores. They buy snack food too.”

“Convenience stores really are amazing. I couldn’t believe they were operating normally near a place where a Dungeon Stampede had just happened. That really surprised me.”

“…Yeah, well, the manager probably couldn’t be reached.”

Sadoyama Kouji, the section chief of the Dungeon Affairs Division, had bought them time on site, and thanks to Tia’s efforts, the “Dungeon Stampede” at the Sugai Dungeon had been suppressed without major damage. Had that not been the case, the entire surrounding area would have been utterly destroyed.

The nearby convenience store, the twenty-four-hour supermarket he frequented—and even Mika, who had been told by her parent that she wouldn’t be coming home tonight—everything, including this run-down apartment building, would surely have been reduced to a complete mess.

“Thanks for the meal. It wasn’t bad. I’ll be borrowing the bath. Cat beastkin, your parent isn’t coming back tonight, right? I’ll make an exception and let you bathe with me.”

“I’m done too. …Elf, are you kind of nice?”

Mika tilted her head to the side, and Irselia gave a small smile in response.

It was a scene of almost painfully pristine beauty and nobility, but Tooru would have preferred it if she didn’t just decide to use his bath without permission. Still, there was no point complaining now.

“Do you even have a change of clothes? I thought you only bought juice and snacks at the convenience store. Wait—are you planning to stay over?”

“A top-class explorer like me naturally owns a personal magic bag. Of course I have spare clothes, a toothbrush, and everything else. I’ve got bath towels, facial cleanser, shampoo, and conditioner too. Come on, cat beastkin.”

With a smug look on her face, the elf stood up and, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, led Mika toward the bathroom. At that point, Tooru no longer had anything to say.

“…I mean, I wanna take a bath too.”

“Well, you’ll just have to wait. I’d like to bathe as well, but once you’re done for the night, I’ll quietly dissolve my manifestation. I’ll spend the night alone inside the holy sword, closing my awareness while feeling the void. Since it was my partner in life, it suits me as a resting place.”

“Wait, why do you sound kind of resentful about it? You can use the bath after I’m done. I’m not so broke that I worry about the water bill.”

“Mm-hm, that’s one of the things I quite like about you, Tooru.”

Tia nodded with an all-knowing look, which irritated Tooru just a little. She was acting as though she’d been dragged into all of this herself, but this holy sword spirit was the root cause of everything… but well, saying that might be taking it a bit too far.

He had been working as a cleaner, endlessly taking down weak monsters in the upper floors of a D-rank dungeon, when one day he stepped on a teleport trap and was sent into a dangerous zone.

Attacked by monsters he had never seen before, he fled into a room where he found two swords embedded in the floor. Without thinking, he pulled them out—only to discover that both were myth-class weapons that interfered with the soul. One was a Western sword possessed by the spirit of the swordswoman who had once wielded it. That was Tia. The other was an ominously red-black cursed katana.

And after all that, here he was: a female elf was bathing in his house together with the cat beastkin child next door.

It made so little sense that even trying to trace a coherent line of cause and effect felt far too troublesome for Tooru right now.

“…How did it end up like this?”

He muttered that to himself, then carried the dishes left on the table over to the sink and washed them. There was no one around to answer his question.

Not that an answer would have helped.